So, for those who follow me, know I am a terrible blogger. I just am very inconsistent and it usually looks like vomit on the screen. However, I really want to get into it. I think I found my focus. I am going to talk about theology, but focusing on the everyday examples of it. I don’t think you need to isolate yourself to just christian spheres of influence but can find Christ in most things. Some things are probably not the most conducive to developing your theology but some things really speak to me. So, look for future posts about “Everyday Theology.”
I am planning on revamping my tumblr. New template, and I guess just participating in it more. Let’s hope it works. Any suggestions for topics would be great!
The School: IN ORDER FOR THE ADMISSIONS STAFF OF OUR COLLEGE TO GET TO
KNOW YOU, THE APPLICANT, BETTER, WE ASK THAT YOU ANSWER THE FOLLOWING
QUESTION: ARE THERE ANY SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCES YOU HAVE HAD, OR
ACCOMPLISHMENTS YOU HAVE REALIZED, THAT HAVE HELPED TO DEFINE YOU AS A
The Applicant: I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I
have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making
them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic
slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time
efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.
I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot
bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook
Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a
veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.
Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly
defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious
army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the
subject of numerous documentaries. When I’m bored, I build large
suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On
Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of
I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie.
Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear.
I don’t perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I
have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last
summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force
demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me
fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.
I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy.
I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day
and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I
know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have
performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week;
when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I
successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a
small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.
I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On
weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami.
Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down.
I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a
toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San
Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the
Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and
I have spoken with Elvis.
But I have not yet gone to college.
- Plato: For the greater good.
- Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.
- Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.
- Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas.
- Jacques Derrida: Any number of contending discourses may be discovered within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned, because structuralism is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!
- Thomas de Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.
- Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.
- Douglas Adams: Forty-two.
- Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.
- Oliver North: National Security was at stake.
- B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences which had pervaded its sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own free will.
- Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.
- Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.
- Ludwig Wittgenstein: The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the objects "chicken" and "road", and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization of this potential occurrence.
- Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
- Aristotle: To actualize its potential.
- Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.
- Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence.
- Salvador Dali: The Fish.
- Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.
- Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.
- Epicurus: For fun.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.
- Johann von Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it.
- Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.
- Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.
- David Hume: Out of custom and habit.
- Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it [censored] wanted to. That's the [censored] reason.
- Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?
- Ronald Reagan: I forget.
- John Sununu: The Air Force was only too happy to provide the transportation, so quite understandably the chicken availed himself of the opportunity.
- The Sphinx: You tell me.
- Mr. T.: If you saw me coming you'd cross the road too!
- Henry David Thoreau: To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out of life.
- Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.
- Molly Yard: It was a hen!
- Zeno of Elea: To prove it could never reach the other side.
- Chaucer: So priketh hem nature in hir corages.
- Wordsworth: To wander lonely as a cloud.
- The Godfather: I didn't want its mother to see it like that.
- Keats: Philosophy will clip a chicken's wings.
- Blake: To see heaven in a wild fowl.
- Othello: Jealousy.
- Dr. Johnson: Sir, had you known the Chicken for as long as I have, you would not so readily enquire, but feel rather the Need to resist such a public Display of your own lamentable and incorrigible Ignorance.
- Mrs. Thatcher: This chicken's not for turning.
- Supreme Soviet: There has never been a chicken in this photograph.
- Oscar Wilde: Why, indeed? One's social engagements whilst in town ought never expose one to such barbarous inconvenience - although, perhaps, if one must cross a road, one may do far worse than to cross it as the chicken in question.
- Kafka: Hardly the most urgent enquiry to make of a low-grade insurance clerk who woke up that morning as a hen.
- Swift: It is, of course, inevitable that such a loathsome, filth-ridden and degraded creature as Man should assume to question the actions of one in all respects his superior.
- Macbeth: To have turned back were as tedious as to go o'er.
- Whitehead: Clearly, having fallen victim to the fallacy of misplaced concreteness.
- Freud: An die andere Seite zu kommen. (Much laughter.)
- Hamlet: That is not the question.
- Donne: It crosseth for thee.
- Pope: It was mimicking my Lord Hervey.
- Constable: To get a better view.
- Yeats: She was following the Faeries that sang to her to come away with them from the dull, bucolic comfort of the farmyard to the waters and the wild.
- Shelley: 'Tis a metaphor for the pursuits of man: though 'twas deemed an extraordinary occurrence at the time, still it brought little to bear on the great scheme of time and history, and was ultimately fruitless and forgotten.
- Tolkien: Chickens are respectable folk, and well thought of. They never go on any adventures or do anything unexpected. One fine spring day, as the chicken wandered contentedly around the farmyard, clucking and pecking and enjoying herself immensely, there appeared a Wizard and thirteen Dwarves who were in need of a chicken to share in their adventure. Reluctantly she joined their party, and with them crossed the road into the great Unknown, muttering about how rude the Dwarves were to take her away on such short notice, without even giving her time to brush her feathers or fetch her hat.
- 1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up.
- 2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
- 3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.
- 4) What do you think about most?
- 5) What does your latest text message from someone else say?
- 6) Do you sleep with ____ or without ______ on?
- 7) What's your strangest talent?
- 8) Girls.... (finish the sentence); Boys.... (finish the sentence)
- 9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?
- 10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?
- 11) Do you have any strange phobias?
- 12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?
- 13) What's your religion?
- 14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?
- 15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
- 16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?
- 17) What was the last lie you told?
- 18) Do you believe in karma?
- 19) What does your URL mean?
- 20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?
- 21) Who is your celebrity crush?
- 22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
- 23) How do you vent your anger?
- 24) Do you have a collection of anything?
- 25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
- 26) Are you happy with the person you've become?
- 27) What's a sound you hate; sound you love?
- 28) What's your biggest "what if"?
- 29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
- 30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.
- 31) Smell the air. What do you smell?
- 32) What's the worst place you have ever been to?
- 33) Choose East Coast or West Coast?
- 34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?
- 35) To you, what is the meaning of life?
- 36) Define Art.
- 37) Do you believe in luck?
- 38) What's the weather like right now?
- 39) What time is it?
- 40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?
- 41) What was the last book you read?
- 42) Do you like the smell of gasoline?
- 43) Do you have any nicknames?
- 44) What was the last movie you saw?
- 45) What's the worst injury you've ever had?
- 46) Have you ever caught a butterfly?
- 47) Do you have any obsessions right now?
- 48) What's your sexual orientation?
- 49) Ever had a rumor spread about you?
- 50) Do you believe in magic?
- 51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?
- 52) What is your astrological sign?
- 53) Do you save money or spend it?
- 54) What's the last thing you purchased?
- 55) Love or lust?
- 56) In a relationship?
- 57) How many relationships have you had?
- 58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue?
- 59) Where were you yesterday?
- 60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
- 61) Are you wearing socks right now?
- 62) What's your favorite animal?
- 63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?
- 64) Where is your best friend?
- 65) Spit or swallow?(;
- 66) What is your heritage?
- 67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?
- 68) What do you think is Satan's last name?
- 69) Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?
- 70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?
- 71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?
- 72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?
- 73) You can only have one of these things; trust or love.
- 74) What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?
- 75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?
- 76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?
- 77) How can I win your heart?
- 78) Can insanity bring on more creativity?
- 79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?
- 80) What size shoes do you where?
- 81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?
- 82) What is your favorite word?
- 83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.
- 84) What is a saying you say a lot?
- 85) What's the last song you listened to?
- 86) Basic question; what's your favorite color/colors?
- 87) What is your current desktop picture?
- 88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?
- 89) What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on?
- 90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do?
- 91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?
- 92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
- 93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
- 94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?
- 95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
- 96) Do you have any relatives in jail?
- 97) Have you ever thrown up in the car?
- 98) Ever been on a plane?
- 99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?
- 100) Give me your top 5 favorite blogs on Tumblr.
One of my favorite things about literature is when you read it you have a revelation. That revelation could be good, bad, or indifferent, but it is nice to see that literature still speaks to people. I am reading Wuthering Heights and I have enjoyed reading it the second time through; the first being in high school. I am not quite done but this synopsis of what seems like the plot line of Days of Our Lives has been nice, in the fact that it has enabled me to see certain situations, in my life, differently. If you have never read and you are interested in a book, I would say give it a shot and if you don’t like it move on but I definitely am enjoying this time around.
“He wanted all to lie in an ecstasy of peace; I wanted all to sparkle and dance in a glorious jubilee. I said his heaven would be only half alive; and he said mine would be drunk: I said I should fall asleep in his; and he said he could not breathe in mine…”
It was an okay year. I am glad it is over. 2012, please be a little better than last.
“I know you left, but I’ll stay here waiting for you. I’ll keep your drink filled and your seat saved. Never be afraid to come back; it’s your seat and none can fill it. Be safe and hurry back, please.”